Why I went to Bob Jones University

First Things First

I just sat down to write about my life. The first thing that came to mind is my experience at Bob Jones University. I am not going to write about all that happened there right now, but I will tell you why I went to college there. You will see that this, like most things in my life, is more complicated than it seems... or maybe it just seems more complicated to me.

A Wretched Mother in Proper Perspective

Intolerance Rejected

You haven't met my mother yet. If I had to tell you about her fifteen or twenty years ago, I would have told you that she was evil. Now that I've lived and experienced the forces of life, I would have to say that she probably was basically a good person who had "issues." I say that because I have met a lot of people. I have read about a lot of people. I have even met myself a time or two. No matter how bad a person is, I can see how life has affected them and helped form them into what they have become. Such empathy, understanding, and tolerance came to me late in life: probably too late. For a long time I resembled my mother in that manner, but I digress.

My Mother's Background

My mother. What happened to her to make her the way she was? Her mother seemed to be nice (but mark it down, she was more like my mother than I realized). I never met her father because he died before I was born. She grew up in a small town outside of Philadelphia and had an older brother and a younger sister: both of whom she seemed to legitimately hate, except when they were around (which wasn't often). I don't now much about her youth, but I do know that she encountered religion at some point and became involved with a local "christian" youth organization and eventually with a small independent Baptist church in the area. She graduated from Wheaton College in Illinois, and it was there that I think she became exposed to Bob Jones University.

My Mother and Bob Jones University

She pretty much held Wheaton in disdain. She spoke a time or two about how Bob Jones students would come up there (God knows why) and talk about how strict it was compared to the goings on at Wheaton. I don't know if the strictness is what caused her to idealize Bob Jones, but something did. Perhaps it was her step sister (her mother remarried a widower who had two daughters). One of them seemed to have permanent mental issues (perhaps they stemmed from her mother's untimely death) and another that somehow ended up attending college at Bob Jones University. There may have been other influences that pushed her into idolizing the college, but I don't know what they might be. At some point, however, it became clear that she was obsessed with the place and she made up her mind that her sons would go to college there.

My Mother's Lies in Print

My mother received the Bob Jones magazine, Faith for the Family, and even wrote a piece that was published in it (the article misrepresented life in our family, but who cares?).

My Mother's Peaceful Vacation

I remember we traveled to South Carolina and spent a week at Bob Jones for their "Peaceful Summer Vacation". I remember how awful that was. We stayed in the dormitories, ate meals at the dining hall. In between those exciting events, my father wanted to shoot archery, which we did in the rain, and we attended countless special lectures. One was by Dr. Frank Garlock who was ranting about playing records backwards (I wonder if they've tried that with CDs?) and Bob Jones III who ranted about students who kept breaking "Skoo Roos" and had their tails booted out of the place. My mother ate it up.

My Mother's Art Gallery

During that awful week at Bob Jones University, my mother purchased a number of replica prints of the art in their gallery. When we got home, she framed them and had my father hang them up in the stairway at home. She also got a book that talked of this history of Bob Jones and ranted about that to my father for weeks if not months. I forget how old I was then, but I didn't want to go to Bob Jones University, but my mother made up her mind that I was.

Shut Up!

I remember one time when we were at her mother's house that she was going on and on, telling her about how great Bob Jones University is. I kept saying under my breath things like "that's wretched," and "that's a waste." my mother finally made me shut up. Anyone with any sense should have been able to foretell from that point that the Bob Jones University ordeal would end up disastrous: it did.

My Brother

I'll talk more about my brother later, but for now let's just say he was a bad example. First, he didn't want to go to Bob Jones either. I had so hoped that he would stand up to her and say he wasn't going, but he caved under the pressure. The rationale my mother had was that he could go to another college, but he'd have to pay for it himself. seeing that he never worked at all (so had no money), he felt as though he had no option for college. My mother decided that he should join the Army Reserve under a "Split Option" for training. This allowed him to go to basic training at Fort Dix in the summer after high school graduation, and then go to AIT in the summer following his freshman year. My mother had no interest in going to his graduation from either training, but she was interested in going to Bob Jones University every year for Thanksgiving. How horrible that was! Before that, I remember going down there myself on a plane ticket I bought... was that over Thanksgiving? I don't recall, but I think it was.

My first huge mistake

In high school, I had excelled in the Air Force Junior ROTC program. As a result, I was offered the unit's ROTC scholarship to college. Of course, my mother wouldn't have anything of that. It was Bob Jones University or nothing as far as she was concerned. She ranted about how alcohol, drugs, and promiscuity were all over college campuses and that I had to go to Bob Jones University and meet a "sweet Christian girl to marry." That was the only vision she seemed to ever have for either one of us. The sweet Christian girl never materialized for my brother, and I had "issues" that caused her not to materialize for me either (at least not at Bob Jones University).

I Lost by Trying to Please

I succumbed to my mother's pressure and I did the same split option thing with the Army Reserve. I went to infantry school and - although it was incredibly difficult - I enjoyed it more than most things I've done since then. I was young. I was afraid to lose my parents because they were all I had (them and my brother). I wish I had the foresight at the time to see that I would lose them anyway. I should have told my mother "screw you," took the scholarship, and had a great life. I didn't, and that was my first major mistake.